Hey, blog folk!
Well I am officially in Utah :-). CRAY. ZAY.
It has been quite the last two weeks. Full of process, transition, newness, and a whole bushel of change. Here's the gist:
- Moved here on the 2nd. When I first arrived, I was completely overwhelmed that my life changed utterly overnight. In addition to all of my unprocessed emotion from leaving C3, work, and friends in the desert, I was pretty on edge emotionally for the next few days.
- I stayed with newfound friends through amazing provision from The Lord for the first two day. Then on the 4th, I moved to where I am currently staying: a house built in 1908 with a family of 8 (Cory, Becky Jo and their 6 little girls). Settling into a place is helpful for any transition, especially when that place is with great friends. My heart began to calm, yet my joy was still under attack.
- On the 5th I had a job interview at SwimKids, an organization that teaches young children how to swim. Though the interview went very well, I was very concerned with working with kids again when I was still so exhausted from my previous job. The next day, the owner called me to talk about how the interview went. Through encouragement from The Lord and friends, I shared my concerns with her and, praise Him, they could not have fallen on a more gracious ear. She was more than understanding and after talking with her about splitting my time between the office and the pool, I felt confident to accept the job! My heart felt more at ease, and wondered at the Lord's provision again, yet I still remained without joy.
- Days progressed and it became more and more clear that this was/is the land The Lord has brought me to. As I've connected with other believers in the area and spent time with friends, sharing our hearts in fellowship, my heart has leaped from sparks of joy and excitement that I believe The Lord desires to ignite in a long lasting way. But what has really settled my heart?...
- Where I'm sitting right now, where The Lord has met me. I'm in this cafe, seated at the counter, facing the window. I've just had a scrumptious lunch and am looking out at the snowcovered ground, trees, and mountains. I am in love with this space in the world The Lord has given me; even if its just for the next hour or so. I know that no matter where I go in life, the Lord's place for me is right here. Not in this cafe, not in this town, or even on this earth. But here, with Him. My heart beating with His, rejoicing in where He has brought me, what He has given me, and who He is.
So here I am! Here I am, indeed. I'm excited to see what The Lord has in store and I am certainly enjoying the glorious "getting there".
More updates to come soon!
Friday, February 15, 2013
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Lead me on.
And she's off again :-). This crazy girl and her God adventures.
I will try to make the story brief. Around the end of summer last year, I hit a point with my job where I felt the Lord was releasing me from being there. Though I haven't kept up with updates on my blog, the few updates I have given regarding my job just hint at the challenge it has been. For a perfectionist like myself, exhausting my efforts at work and still encountering hardship was devastating. Yet, the Father, being sovereign, used it to teach me so much. Anyways, I hit a point at work where, amidst another breakdown, I heard the Spirit say, you are not to be here forever. I was grateful, sad and somewhat relieved. My heart responded with, what next?
I have thought for sometime that my time frame at work was related to my time here in the desert; from when I first committed to my job. Now that my time at my job was coming to a close, where was I to go next?
Funny question, because at this point in time, I seemed surrounded by options. I had friends moving to Sacramento, friends moving to Utah, friends/family staying in the desert, friends up and down the west coast, family in San Diego, family in Oklahoma...all expressing a desire for me to be near them. Though I did long to be near all of them, I really wanted the Lord to give me a totally different path to a different place so I wouldn't have to displease anyone. This, I am able to see now, is not the cry of a surrendered heart. Though maybe my desire to please was rooted somewhere in love, it was stronger than my desire to simply follow the Lord...wherever.
A couple months later, in seeking the Lord on my future, I felt stirred toward moving to Utah. As I mentioned, earlier, I had friends (Meg and Chad, Becky Jo and Cory) moving there to seek the Lord in ministry and because of this I dismissed me going there too. I still didn't think this was a serious option: difficult ministry overseas? yes. moving to Utah to minister and seek the Lord with friends? surely not. Yet the Lord kept moving in my heart towards Utah.
A very long story short, the Lord led me to seek out and invited me into opportunities to talk about the possibility of Utah over and over again with friends and family. It was Him inviting me to step further with this possibility. you can say yes or you can say no, here I am. Since my deliberation process in coming out to Indio was so overanalyzed, agonizing, and unnecessarily drawn out, I decided not to hesitate and respond to the Lord's call.
Through much encouragement from Him to step out, I have decided to do just that. In short, I'm moving to Utah! Holladay, Utah. To continue to seek the Lord in His grand adventure He has for all of those who love Him. I'm moving February 2nd and can't wait to see what He has in store :-).
I will keep this blog updated more frequently, we can all hope. In the meantime, if you could pray for my transition in leaving my job, kids, friends, and loving church family, I would really appreciate it. Though this transition is hard and requires strength, I'm walking with the One who is strong in our weaknesses. I am tried, tested, weary, yet unafraid, worship-full, and excited. He is so good. Stay tuned, because this next season will be too. :-)
I will try to make the story brief. Around the end of summer last year, I hit a point with my job where I felt the Lord was releasing me from being there. Though I haven't kept up with updates on my blog, the few updates I have given regarding my job just hint at the challenge it has been. For a perfectionist like myself, exhausting my efforts at work and still encountering hardship was devastating. Yet, the Father, being sovereign, used it to teach me so much. Anyways, I hit a point at work where, amidst another breakdown, I heard the Spirit say, you are not to be here forever. I was grateful, sad and somewhat relieved. My heart responded with, what next?
I have thought for sometime that my time frame at work was related to my time here in the desert; from when I first committed to my job. Now that my time at my job was coming to a close, where was I to go next?
Funny question, because at this point in time, I seemed surrounded by options. I had friends moving to Sacramento, friends moving to Utah, friends/family staying in the desert, friends up and down the west coast, family in San Diego, family in Oklahoma...all expressing a desire for me to be near them. Though I did long to be near all of them, I really wanted the Lord to give me a totally different path to a different place so I wouldn't have to displease anyone. This, I am able to see now, is not the cry of a surrendered heart. Though maybe my desire to please was rooted somewhere in love, it was stronger than my desire to simply follow the Lord...wherever.
A couple months later, in seeking the Lord on my future, I felt stirred toward moving to Utah. As I mentioned, earlier, I had friends (Meg and Chad, Becky Jo and Cory) moving there to seek the Lord in ministry and because of this I dismissed me going there too. I still didn't think this was a serious option: difficult ministry overseas? yes. moving to Utah to minister and seek the Lord with friends? surely not. Yet the Lord kept moving in my heart towards Utah.
A very long story short, the Lord led me to seek out and invited me into opportunities to talk about the possibility of Utah over and over again with friends and family. It was Him inviting me to step further with this possibility. you can say yes or you can say no, here I am. Since my deliberation process in coming out to Indio was so overanalyzed, agonizing, and unnecessarily drawn out, I decided not to hesitate and respond to the Lord's call.
Through much encouragement from Him to step out, I have decided to do just that. In short, I'm moving to Utah! Holladay, Utah. To continue to seek the Lord in His grand adventure He has for all of those who love Him. I'm moving February 2nd and can't wait to see what He has in store :-).
I will keep this blog updated more frequently, we can all hope. In the meantime, if you could pray for my transition in leaving my job, kids, friends, and loving church family, I would really appreciate it. Though this transition is hard and requires strength, I'm walking with the One who is strong in our weaknesses. I am tried, tested, weary, yet unafraid, worship-full, and excited. He is so good. Stay tuned, because this next season will be too. :-)
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